We are given two ears and one mouth; so, are we listening?

Humans are given TWO ears and only ONE mouth—because we are meant to listen more than we talk. But the question now is: do we?

When asked, many people will reply rather defensively that yes, they do listen to what other people have to say. But when asked whether they still remember the content of the conversation, they will usually smile sheepishly and say that they remember only part of it.  

Sounds familiar? Yes, this is what we do on a daily basis subconsciously.

Imagine rushing through an assignment that has to be handed up at 4. It is already 3 o’clock and you’re only halfway through. Then your clique comes along and starts talking to you. As much as you love your clique of friends, you really need to rush through your assignment or else you will have to face the repercussions. So you just sit there, pretending to be listening to them and praying in your heart that they will be done soon so you can do your work.

This process of sitting there “listening” (and enduring) is called ‘hearing’. Hearing is simply “the act of perceiving sound by the ear”. So long as you are not one who is not hearing-impaired, hearing simply just happens. However, listening takes much more than just being there; it requires an individual to be paying attention and processing what the other party is saying through your mind. Listening often leads to learning; but, hearing does not. Even though many of us use the two terms interchangeably, the two cannot in fact be any more different.

Effective listening techniques are important as it helps “improve communication, strengthen relationships and also form stronger interpersonal skills for work and family”.  Hence ‘Active Listening’—summarizing and reflecting—should be applied in our everyday lives. Phrases such as, "As I understand it, what you are saying is ...." and "so your point is…” can be used to mimic or repeat what was said without appearing too robotic. This allows further clarification from the speaker if necessary.

There is a scene in the movie Pulp Fiction where Uma Thurman asks John Travolta a very interesting question, “Do you listen? Or do you wait to talk?”

Yes, which kind of person are you?

Do you listen carefully to what someone has to say? Or are you the kind of person who already has a reply forming up in your head, even though when your friend has only 10 words out of his mouth?