We are
given two ears and one mouth; so, are we listening?
Humans are
given TWO ears and only ONE mouth—because we are meant to listen more than we
talk. But the question now is: do we?
When asked,
many people will reply rather defensively that yes, they do listen to what
other people have to say. But when asked whether they still remember the
content of the conversation, they will usually smile sheepishly and say that they
remember only part of it.
Sounds
familiar? Yes, this is what we do on a daily basis subconsciously.
Imagine
rushing through an assignment that has to be handed up at 4. It is already 3 o’clock
and you’re only halfway through. Then your clique comes along and starts
talking to you. As much as you love your clique of friends, you really need to
rush through your assignment or else you will have to face the repercussions.
So you just sit there, pretending to be listening to them and praying in your
heart that they will be done soon so you can do your work.
This process
of sitting there “listening” (and enduring) is called ‘hearing’. Hearing is
simply “the act of perceiving sound by the ear”. So long as you are not one who
is not hearing-impaired, hearing simply just happens. However, listening takes
much more than just being there; it requires an individual to be paying
attention and processing what the other party is saying through your mind.
Listening often leads to learning; but, hearing does not. Even though many of
us use the two terms interchangeably, the two cannot in fact be any more
different.
Effective
listening techniques are important as it helps “improve communication, strengthen
relationships and also form stronger interpersonal skills for work and family”.
Hence ‘Active Listening’—summarizing and
reflecting—should be applied in our everyday lives. Phrases such as, "As I understand it, what you are
saying is ...." and "so your point is…” can be used to mimic or repeat
what was said without appearing too robotic. This allows further clarification from the
speaker if necessary.
There is a
scene in the movie Pulp Fiction where Uma Thurman asks John Travolta a very
interesting question, “Do you listen? Or do you wait to talk?”
Yes, which kind
of person are you?
Do you listen
carefully to what someone has to say? Or are you the kind of person who already
has a reply forming up in your head, even though when your friend has only 10
words out of his mouth?